“You Are What You Eat” - Skinny Bitches
(going to go out on a limb and generalize that it’s all of them)

I know you’re thinking this is another humorous disaster entry because I swore off baking  (for good) after the ‘crossword cookie fiasco.‘  But first, let me explain. I had saved this recipe months ago knowing that it combined my bf’s two favorite sweets – red velvet and cheesecake. Therefore, I had to do a last attempt. I just had to!!

Here’s the Final Product —- Success!!!

Adapted from: Erin’s Food Files

Ingredients:
for the cheesecake:
2 oz. white chocolate, chopped
16 oz. cream cheese, room temperature (2 packages)
1/2 cup + 2 tbsn. sugar
1 tbs. flour
2 eggs, room temperature
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tbs. heavy cream

for the cake:
2 1/2 cups cake flour
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tbs. cocoa powder
1 tsp. salt
2 eggs
1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
1 cup buttermilk (i had to substitute with 1 cup milk & 1 tbs. vinegar)
2 tbsn./ 1 oz. red food coloring
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. white distilled vinegar (this is the same as ‘rice vinegar, no? if not, whoops)

for the cream cheese frosting:
16 oz. cream cheese/ 2 blocks, room temperature
8 tbsn./ 1 stick unsalted butter, room temperature
1 tsp. vanilla
2 1/2 – 3 cups powdered sugar
pinch of salt

making the cheesecake:
Preheat the oven to 350 F. To make the cheesecake, melt the white chocolate, set aside to cool slightly. In a large bowl, mix the cream cheese. Add the sugar and mix slowly until smooth. Then, mix in the flour.  Continue to mix while adding one egg at a time, mixing well after each addition, scraping the sides of the bowl. Mix in the vanilla and cream until the mixture is smooth. Using a large spoon, stir in the melted white chocolate until incorporated. Pour the batter into a parchment paper lined 9-inch spring form pan.

Bake for about 30 minutes or until the center is set when you slightly shake the pan. Allow to cool before removing from the spring form pan. (I left it overnight in the fridge to be safe).

to make the red velvet cake:
Preheat the oven to 350 F. Sift together the flour, sugar, baking soda, cocoa and salt into a medium bowl. Beat the eggs, oil, buttermilk, food coloring, vanilla and vinegar in a large bowl until well combined. Add the dry ingredients and beat until smooth, about 2 minutes.

Divide the batter evenly between 2 greased and floured 9-inch round cake pans and bake for 25 – 30 minutes, rotating halfway through, until an inserted toothpick in the center of the cake comes out clean.

Let cakes cool for 10 minutes, then invert each onto a plate, then invert again onto a cooling rack and let them cool completely, then level.

to make the cream cheese frosting:
Mix cream cheese and butter until creamy and smooth. Add the vanilla and salt. Then add the powdered sugar slowly. Once mostly incorporated, mix until light and fluffy. To assemble the cake, place your bottom layer of cake on the dish/ plate you will be serving it on with the leveled side facing up. Spread a thin layer of cream cheese frosting on top – it doesn’t matter how messy it looks since it will be covered. Transfer the cheesecake to the top of the cake, then spread another thin layer of cream cheese frosting on top of the cheesecake. Top with the remaining layer of cake – leveled side down so that you have a clean surface. Use the rest of the cream cheese frosting to frost the entire cake.

Garnish and Enjoy! I melted white chocolate chips (Nestle!), froze it on parchment paper, grated it all over the top, and then shaved some curlies. (:

As the icing had not completely set before our dinner reservation, I had to figure out a way to carry to cake to the restaurant without the iced sides being smeared and ruined. I successfully concocted a ‘carrying apparatus’ in order to bring the cake to Tokyo Table, where I had planned the bf’s birthday dinner.

It consisted of plate + spring pan side + aluminum foil + tape (sorry, I forgot a photo), but trust me when I say it was pure brilliance. Sometimes I think I’m a mad genius.

Props to TT for not charging for outside desserts nor cutting fees. Overall, it was a great birthday cake dining experience, and the bf LOVED it! <3

and of course, my cute little slice:

Happy Birthday to the Bested Bao!

Well, seems to me that I’ve really topped myself now. (Not that I had very far to reach considering my previous failures). But still. Crap. What’s next?

So, what happens when people start discouraging me to tell me to not raise a plant? FML.

Granted, I don’t have the best reputation for having a ‘Green Thumb.’ Though, technically, I haven’t killed any plants. My seriously neglected bamboo could probably live through an apocalypse. And, Bellingham, pictured below, well… he’s still hanging on?

Bellingham will be 1 yr. old in May! Bellingham got sunburned a couple months ago, and he hasn’t been the same since. [I hope he makes it] !!!

CUE: Walter’s First Debut!

Walter…

…loves to smile
…has a green onion mohawk

… is a bit vain;(wears double finger rings, checks himself out, and takes facebk profile photos)

…plays Words With Friends, watches Pretty Little Liars, and buys iPad2s

…has bad days

his no-named pal became home-made onion rings (SOBS! sorry Walter!). It was for a good cause.

…gets haircuts

…contemplates life & death

…cheers himself up by hogging the remote control, drinking 85C tea and playing quelf 

…and overall lives a great life.

Walter was grown from 3 weeks of neglect of my onion pile. I had saved one to make onion rings and had totally forgotten about it. I did see a bit of green sprouting about 2 weeks in but didn’t think anything of it. When we had our beef and bubbles night last week, the green stalk had grown over a foot high! Clearly,  my green thumb can’t be too horrible if I can grow a green onion from thin air! I didn’t even know you could grow green onions from onions! Have I started a new urban farming trend?

Stay tuned for more stories on Walter because he’s going to Vegas in MAY !

With a stream of failed attempts of cooking (xlb & cookies) lately, I needed to boost my cooking confidence. I’d failed at making onion rings a first time (baking and using panko breadcrumbs just didn’t work for me), but I thought the second time would have to succeed.

To start off, bf raves, and I mean RAVES, about A&W’s Onion Rings—not the US’ version but the Canadian version. (Don’t understand? Well, I didn’t either until I tried Canadian A&W onion rings….then US’s version. US’s definitely doesn’t compare! You may just have to try for yourself!)

I took this photo 2010 at an A&W in a food court in Vancouver.

As bf and his friends grew up on those onion rings, he has been trying to find a place that replicates them in the States. Failing to find a competitor (and he tries onion rings at pretty much every restaurant possible), here’s my first attempt at A&W’s onion rings, which I adapted from: allrecipes.com

1 large onion, cut into 1/4-inch slices
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 egg
1 cup milk, or as needed
3/4 cup dry bread crumbs
Seasoning Salt (to taste) — McCormick’s Steak Seasoning (Trying Lawry’s next batch)
1 quart oil for frying, or as needed

1. Heat the oil in a pot to 365 degrees F (candy thermometer )
2. Separate the onion slices into rings, and set aside. In a small bowl, stir together the flour, baking powder and salt.
3. Dip the onion slices into the flour mixture until they are all coated; set aside. Whisk the egg and milk into the flour mixture using a fork. Dip the floured rings into the batter to coat, then place on a wire rack to drain until the batter stops dripping. The wire rack may be placed over a sheet of aluminum foil for easier clean up.
4. Spread the bread crumbs out on a plate or shallow dish. Place rings one at a time into the crumbs, and scoop the crumbs up over the ring to coat. Give it a hard tap as you remove it from the crumbs.
5. The coating should cling very well. Repeat with remaining rings.

6. Deep fry the rings a few at a time for 2 to 3 minutes, or until golden brown.

7. Remove to paper towels to drain.
8. Season generously with seasoning salt, and serve.

success!

and the bf approves!

here’s the side by side comparison of textures:
<–A&W | Mine–>

pretty close! now, we want to try a third attempt using Lawry’s seasoning salt to see if it changes the flavor of the onion ring, but this one was perfectly crunchy and flavorful already (:

I was super excited to make crossword decorated cookies because bf and I try to do a crossword every night. (We also used to do crosswords during Con Law I, 1L year!). I didn’t really make this for Valentine’s Day, as I have never been a huge proponent of the day, but since I am baker used vday colors—I figured it would save me extra brainstorming time for how I would decorate the cookies. As you will see below, THIS WAS FAIL.

I was inspired by i am baker.
Isn’t it SO adorable?! However, she did not post any recipes, so I adapted my recipe from: allrecipes.com:

sugar cookie:
3/4 cup butter, softened
1 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt

1. In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar until smooth. Beat in eggs and vanilla. Stir in the flour, baking powder, and salt. Cover, and chill dough for at least one hour (or overnight).
2. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Roll out dough on floured surface 1/4 to 1/2 inch thick. Cut into shapes with any cookie cutter. Place cookies 1 inch apart on ungreased cookie sheets.
3. Bake 6 to 8 minutes in preheated oven. Cool completely.

i am baker’s description used rolled fondant, but I didn’t want to (aka “was too lazy to”) go buy glycerin and corn syrup, so I tried to wing it by using buttercream frosting. The rest of this post is going to sound very reminiscent of the XLB debacle because this was definitely LAZY #1.

Icing:
confectioner’s sugar
milk (though one of the batches I used lemon juice instead)
dash of vanilla extract

1. Stir until achieved consistency
2. Separate into different batches to add in food-coloring (pink, red, black)
3. Fill into zip-lock bags for icing
4. Cut a tiny hole into the pointed tip of the Zip-Lock
5. Ice carefully

LAZY #2: Eyeballing the measurements ‘to the correct consistency.’ I suppose my icing was a bit runny.

The shape looked okay, but it was a little bumpy. This is probably why i am baker used rolled fondant instead of icing. I did ice it the night before though, hoping it would be cold enough to ice the crossword part.

LAZY #3: The icing of the actual squares crossword was a bit sloppy. Okay okay, it was REALLY sloppy. It’s freaking tiring okay? And, my ziplock bag kept busting open and icing kept spilling down my hands and dripping onto the cookie.

LAZY #4: Getting lazy and using my fingertips to ‘smudge’ down the icing instead of ‘filling in each square’ properly. LOL. There were A LOT OF SQUARES okay? They kind of filled in still, ish?

LAZY #5: This was supposed to be a three-part gift. (1) Crossword board (2) “Across” hints (3) “Down” hints. Well, as you can see below, I didn’t picture a “Down” hints piece. It’s not because it didn’t fit in the picture; I just straight up didn’t make it. What happened was that I accidentally broke the cookie piece for the “DOWN” hints, so it was a no go.

Don’t worry, I didn’t waste that broken piece, instead — I made baby heart cookies! See: The burnt ones on the top are actually made from extra dough that I baked the night before, not from the broken “Down” piece. I don’t know how they got burnt. Fail #6, sigh?

Well……Happy Valentine’s Day!

How adorable are these Chain Link Bracelets [via]!

Full directions via Honestly, WTF

Considering the recent Xiao Long Bao DEBACLE , I’m wondering if I should steer away from difficult food for a while. In that case, I’m thinking I should try my hand at these adorable bracelets. What a great and adorable gift for my girlfriends!! If you’re reading these, maybe you’ll get one soon!

Who wants to join me in making them?

(To give credit, he supported me and tagged-along with me when I was studying for the July bar. I’m happy to be there for him this time around.)

On any given day, I’m usually doing a plethora of things while he studies: studying for Real Estate, reading (currently – Anna Karenina…and yes…STILL), blogging, cleaning my keyboard, job applying, or a combination thereof.

As I don’t usually decide what I will do that day until I arrive at the coffee shop, I require a large amount of arsenal to keep me from boredom while he studies. As such, I bring a lot of shit with me. My arsenal includes and is not limited to: a laptop, a surge protector, real estate book, legal pad, full size daily planner, my portable hard-drive, camera, portfolio, and of course extra clothing (because sbux is always way to cold). It’s been difficult for me to decide if I should stuff half of these things in a large purse (my Speedy) or try to carefully stuff everything into my plaid laptop bag or briefcase bag. And it would be ridiculous for me to bring a duffel.

Well, after going to a CLE Maraton in Beverly Hills, I snagged this Ultra-Large Canvas bag FOR FREE as a parting gift for attending the 7 hour session.
OMG, it’s enormous! The chair is there for size reference! LOVE.

It holds everything, plus my blanket scarf AND cardigan AND more! The only thing that would stop me from piling in everything I could possibly need to keep me entertained for an afternoon of studying is my back.

AND it has SNAP BUTTON CLOSURE!

As long as I refrain from stuffing it to the brim – I think my back will be fine.

Definitely, my new current obsession.

“Xiao Long Bao: A Comedy of Errors“

or

DEFEATED:
THE LITTLE BUN of SADNESS.

Nobody wants to read about the emo woes of the cook who can’t. Instead, I will bring some (if any?) comedic light to the horrid event otherwise known as “the day Alice  & Annie attempted to make xiao long bao.” Plus, there are a lot of errors. Hopefully, these errors will help you perfect the recipe, help shed some light on what we did wrong, or just make you laugh.

Error #1: Thinking: “Other people have attempted and succeeded at these soup buns, so how hard could it be?”

We used The Steamy Kitchen’s recipe for 40 dumplings and adapted it for 100 dumplings. We were delighted to find out that all the ingredients cost us under $25 for 100 dumplings. Our thoughts: “Why pay for Din Tai Fung’s delicious xiao long bao’s, priced at $8 per 10 dumplings, when we can make them ourselves for much cheaper!?”

It has many components (Soup | Gelatin | Filling | Dough), but we surged ahead.

The Soup

4 qt. of water
4 lb. chicken bones (2 pounds of cut leg and 2 drumsticks)
4 oz. Virginia Smithfield ham
1 lb.  pork belly
1 in. piece of ginger, sliced
4 green onions, cut into 3″ pieces
4 large garlic cloves, smashed
4 teaspoons of Chinese rice wine (michiu)
1 tsp. salt

Wash pork thoroughly. Place all ingredients in a large stockpot and bring to boil. Immediately, turn to low and simmer for 2 hours. Skim surface of impurities constantly to keep soup clean and clear. Strain and discard solids. The XLB recipe only uses 4 cups of broth.

Error #2: In response to the ‘original’ recipe (loosely adapted above), we should have read the last sentence. Had we known it was only using ’4 cups of broth’ per 40 dumplings then we probably would not have needed to DOUBLE the recipe/ingredients. FAIL.

At least the stock turned out perfectly, and now I have plenty of stock frozen away for some future noodle soup. Yay!

The Broth Gelatin
1 tbs. of unflavored gelatin (or agar-agar)

Place 4 cups of the broth back in the pot, turn on the heat. When just about to boil again, turn heat off and add the agar-agar or gelatin. Whisk for 2 minutes until all powder is dissolved. Pour broth into an 8×8 baking dish (We used small tupperware because we wanted to speed up the setting time in the freezer.) Refrigerate until set, about 3-4 hours. (Impatient to get cooking, we only froze for 2 hrs.)

Error #3: Speeding up of gel instead of letting set for 3-4 hours. As you can see (on left), our gelatin became a bit ‘frosty’ due to our ‘freezing.’ Day 2′s gelatin (on right) turned out much better; clearly we should have let it set!

The Filling
2 lb ground pork
6 stalks green onion, finely minced
4 tsp. sugar
4 tbs. soy sauce
2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. white pepper
1 tsp. fresh ginger, grated
2 tsp. Chinese rice wine (michiu)
1/2  tsp. sesame oil

Mix all ingredients. Add in 1 1/2 broth gelatin that is already set. (break the gelatin into 1/4″ pieces” to mix to filling.

Error #4: Prepping the filling WAY too early, so there was no ‘broth gelatin’ to add into the mixture until much later. (2 hours later, to be exact). Not sure how this affected the filling much, but I just have a hunch it did.

Error #5: Guessing at where the rest of the gelatin is supposed to go. Doesn’t seem like we put it in the right place (twss).

The Dough
800 grams of all-purpose flour (6.25 cups for us ‘Americans’ as my Canadian bf says)
1.5 c. boiling hot water
1/2 c. cold water
2 tbs. cooking oil

Making the Dough: Put 90% of the flour in a large bowl. Pour about a third of the hot water in the flour. Use a pair of chopsticks to stir vigorously. Add more hot water. Stir more. Add the last bit of the water and stir vigorously until the dough begins to form. Add the cold water and oil. Keep stirring vigorously with chopsticks. (This is quite a workout!) Stop when you can’t stir anymore.

Error #6: It’s a good thing neither of us are in science or math because we ended up  DOUBLING the above recipe even though we had already doubled the original recipe. RECIPE DOUBLING-FAIL. On the other hand, our dough was NICE (see below!)

Kneading the Dough: Dust counter with the remainder 80 grams of flour. Place dough on floured surface, use your hands to knead the dough for 8 -10 minutes, until it becomes soft, smooth and bounces back slowly when you poke with your finger. (Get ready for another workout!) Cover with plastic wrap and let it sit for 30 minutes.

Prepping the Dough for Filling: Divide the dough into 4 equal pieces. Take one piece (cover the remaining 3 pieces with plastic wrap) and roll it into a long log, about 1-1/4″ diameter. Using pastry scraper or knife, cut dough into pieces about the size of a golf ball. Roll one of the balls between your palms to get a nice, round, smooth ball. Using a rolling pin, roll it out flat. Use 3″ cookie cutter or improvise with my ghetto version of a cutter to cut out the dough circle. **Use extra flour as needed to dust.

Error #7, 8, 9, & 10: (More like…what DIDN’T we do wrong in this section?) Started dough-making too early, so some dried out. Didn’t flour enough in between wrapper stacks, so they stuck together and had to be re-rolled/cut/flattened. Not cutting perfect circles around to make the wrappers. Not paying attention to how many folds and how to fold each dumpling, so we had really thick tops, ugly pleats, and lop-sided buns. Not-flouring the plate and in between dumplings on the plate, so that when it got hot (and before steam-time) the dumplings stuck to each other and fell apart.

Basically, Day 1 was a MAD HOUSE:

Filling the Dough:

Fill with 1 tablespoon of filling, pinch pleat by following the slideshow above. Repeat with rest. Make sure that you cover any dough that you aren’t currently using and cover the dumplings with a towel to prevent drying.

Day 2′s attempts:

Error #11: WAIT, Come again? Add filling?  Where do we put the gelatin? WHERE? HOW MUCH?????????? AHHHHHHH. (With no answer available on any website, we guessed. Guessing is not suggested; however, we don’t have an answer for you.) Day 1: Filled with too little gelatin, and the soup dried out inside the wrapper. Day 2: Actually made and cut the dough correctly, and increased the filling with much more gelatin (a couple slices each); it was a bit better but still not perfect.

The Steaming

1 head of Napa cabbage, leaves separated

Fill steamer with 1 layer of Napa cabbage leaves. Steam over medium heat for 2 minutes to warm up the steamer and to soften cabbage. Place dumplings on the cabbage leaves, leaving 1 1/2″ space between each dumpling. Steam for 12 minutes. Eat orgasmically. (We were too grumps from failure to enjoy orgasmically, but we wish you xlb orgasms galore.)

Error #12: I think 12 minutes it too long? They look pretty good un-steamed. So when they are steamed, why are they flat? Why do they look so sad? They made us really sad too   )*:   …

Error #13: It’s  7pm, 24 hours have elapsed since our first xiao long bao attempt, and I just realized that we didn’t even buy nappa cabbage. No wonder it was so freaking hard to get the XLB to stay in the steamer. My cheap lettuce had too many curled edges.

Error #14: Thinking that we would use the leftover “doubled” dough for the next time we make XLB. I’m pretty sure I’ll never attempt this again. (Doubled dough, get ready to become green onion pancake next week)

Error #15: Thinking that I could possibly make Xiao Long Bao even close to that of Din Tai Fung’s. I will drive the 45 minutes and pay the overpriced fee for Din Tai Fung’s XLB. I shall never blasphemize (sp?) those delicious little buns of heaven again.

6 hours (on Day 1) and 2 hours (on Day 2) later, and this XLB making factory is closed.

Indefinitely.

When my friend, Tina, planned her visit from Dallas to California a couple weeks ago, she requested that we make dinner instead of go out. I was surprised because it had been 6 years since her last visit, and I assumed she would want to eat all that California has to offer. (In-n-Out? AYCE KBBQ? Ramen? Come on!!!) Well, upon her request I had to think of a special meal. Prime Rib was out because she said she had ‘been there, done that.’ So we settled on roasted rack of lamb! An exciting challenge that I, surprisingly, had not attempted to tackle yet.

We picked up two racks of lamb for $30 at Costco. Trader Joe’s prices were comparable, but we still saved about $4 by purchasing from Costco instead!

Yields: 1 cup of Pesto

1 c. Mint Leaves

3/4 c.  Basil Leaves

1/2 c.  Toasted Walnuts

2 tbs.   Parmesan

2 tbs.   Lemon Juice

3           Garlic Cloves

1/3 c.  Olive Oil

3/4 tsp.  Salt

1/2 tsp.  Ground pepper

Blend all ingredients (minus Olive Oil) until finely minced. Add in Olive Oil until creamy. Spread over sliced lamb chop. Enjoy!

grate carrots & finely chop onions

1 lb turkey, 1 egg, 2 tsp. parsley, 2 tsp. thyme, salt, pepper, 3 cloves garlic, 1/4 cup breadcrumbs, and 3 tbsp. olive oil

handling the meatballs is the best part (;

ready for sauce and lovin' !

brown for 3-5 min on each side

add in prego's sauce + add onions, basil, fresh ground black pepper and parsley

the final product:

meatball goodness

finishing touches: sprig of thyme and shaved parmesan